Paging Mitch and Murray*

In proof that the kind of sales environment portrayed in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross** still exists, I offer the following phone conversation I had today. Said conversation was nearly identical to one I had with a different salesperson (same company) on Friday.

The Conversation:

Me (answering phone): Chris Gerrib?
Salesperson: Mister Gerrib, let me tell you, you're harder to get in touch with then President Bush!

Oh really? I've been at my desk all afternoon, I answer my own phone (usually at the first ring) and you've been having a hard time getting in touch with me?

Me: Well, now that you've found me, what can I help you with?
Salesperson: First, I want to thank you for sending in a reply card from A Major Computer Magazine expressing an interest in PC and LED screen cleaning products.

I sent in a reply card from A Major Computer Magazine (yes, I heard the capitalization Quite Clearly) expressing an interest in what? In what alternate reality did I do that?

Me: I don't recall that.
Salesperson: You sent in a card expressing an interest in PC and LED cleaner.*** Now, let me tell you about our free sample program...

What, Windex go out of business and not tell me? And how much are you going to charge me in shipping and handling for this colored water or whatever the hell you're peddling?

Me: I'm not interested in screen cleaning products.
Saleperson: (sound of phone handset being dropped in cradle)


* Mitch and Murray were the big bosses downtown, unseen but referenced in the movie.
** Sales competition in the movie: First prize - a Cadillac Eldorado. Second prize - a set of steak knives. Third prize - you're fired.
*** The opening line of a Glengarry Glen Ross sales call: "You or somebody in your household expressed an interest..."