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Close But No Cigar
Nov. 16th, 2011 09:44 amThe other night, I'm at home watching TV, and I get a phone call that goes something like this:
Caller: I'm [Frank / Fred / Felix] from the circulation department of [major national magazine I subscribe to]. We've been getting a lot of reports that magazines in Illinois are showing up damaged. Are you having any issues?
Me: No, not really.
We discuss for a minute the ways in which the magazine might be damaged, none of which apply to me.
Caller: Well, I'm glad to hear everything's okay. As a thank-you for your time, I've been authorized to offer you a 36-month renewal at the low rate of $1.50 an issue.
Me: (Well, obviously this was just an excuse to get me to renew. Still, that is a low rate, and I do like the magazine.) Okay?
Caller: We'll mail you out your renewal form, just send it back with your payment.
Me: Sounds like a plan.
Last night, the renewal form arrived. First, it was a stamped letter in a generic envelope, not something via business permit or postage meter. Second, the address (including the return address) were badly-printed stickers affixed to the envelope. Inside, the "renewal form" looked like something I'd whip up on a LaserJet if I was in a hurry, and the return envelope was addressed to a different state then all the other circulation material for [major national magazine].
Oh, and they wanted me to make my check payable to "P. S. S." which is not the name of the magazine in question.
Nice try, fellows.
Caller: I'm [Frank / Fred / Felix] from the circulation department of [major national magazine I subscribe to]. We've been getting a lot of reports that magazines in Illinois are showing up damaged. Are you having any issues?
Me: No, not really.
We discuss for a minute the ways in which the magazine might be damaged, none of which apply to me.
Caller: Well, I'm glad to hear everything's okay. As a thank-you for your time, I've been authorized to offer you a 36-month renewal at the low rate of $1.50 an issue.
Me: (Well, obviously this was just an excuse to get me to renew. Still, that is a low rate, and I do like the magazine.) Okay?
Caller: We'll mail you out your renewal form, just send it back with your payment.
Me: Sounds like a plan.
Last night, the renewal form arrived. First, it was a stamped letter in a generic envelope, not something via business permit or postage meter. Second, the address (including the return address) were badly-printed stickers affixed to the envelope. Inside, the "renewal form" looked like something I'd whip up on a LaserJet if I was in a hurry, and the return envelope was addressed to a different state then all the other circulation material for [major national magazine].
Oh, and they wanted me to make my check payable to "P. S. S." which is not the name of the magazine in question.
Nice try, fellows.
