Hail Good Fellow, Well Met! (Or Maybe Not)

I've had a string recently of exceptionally irritating sales calls at work. They all start with somebody calling me and randomly asking "how are you doing?" or "are you having a good day?" The caller does this with all the (seemingly) hearty good cheer of one of a drinking buddy holding a spot for me at the bar. Except of course I've never even spoken to the person calling, let alone hoisted a few brews with.

Look, I recognize that I will be bombarded by sales calls. I buy IT stuff for sixteen banks, and the economy yadda yadda yadda. But don't pretend to be my long lost friend. Just cut to the pitch, buddy.