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One of the cool things about going to conventions is you get to meet people with wildly varying backgrounds. At the most recent Worldcon, Discon 3, I met somebody with personal experience in dealing with Amanda Palmer. For those not in the know, Amanda is an American singer and mid-tier celebrity. She's notable in this instance for her book The Art of Asking. This book details such things as her tendency to just show up in a town when she's on tour and post on the Internet "hey, I need a room for the night." I had always found this more than a bit weird, and my acquaintance confirmed my feelings.
My acquaintance told me their personal experience with Palmer when, as a houseguest to a mutual friend, Palmer asked the acquaintance to drive somebody two hours to a train station. This ask was made in a very public manner, specifically to make it awkward to refuse. Moreover, my acquaintance reports Palmer's interest in them began and ended with facilitating this trip.
The story crystalizes for me how the "Art of Asking" really works. The asker just doesn't care if others are inconvenienced. Think for a moment about the "show up in town and post 'I need a room' bit." The ask is made that night, creating an artificial crisis. (I mean, it's not like Palmer doesn't know weeks in advance where they'll be touring on a given day.) If somebody actually were concerned about not putting people out, the request would be made in advance. (Or, one would do what normal people do and book a hotel.)
In short, it was an interesting and enlightening conversation. I don't know how one facilitates those kinds of meetings at a virtual event.
My acquaintance told me their personal experience with Palmer when, as a houseguest to a mutual friend, Palmer asked the acquaintance to drive somebody two hours to a train station. This ask was made in a very public manner, specifically to make it awkward to refuse. Moreover, my acquaintance reports Palmer's interest in them began and ended with facilitating this trip.
The story crystalizes for me how the "Art of Asking" really works. The asker just doesn't care if others are inconvenienced. Think for a moment about the "show up in town and post 'I need a room' bit." The ask is made that night, creating an artificial crisis. (I mean, it's not like Palmer doesn't know weeks in advance where they'll be touring on a given day.) If somebody actually were concerned about not putting people out, the request would be made in advance. (Or, one would do what normal people do and book a hotel.)
In short, it was an interesting and enlightening conversation. I don't know how one facilitates those kinds of meetings at a virtual event.
